Sport

THE 11 TYPES OF SUNDAY LEAGUE FOOTBALLER

The 11 Types of Sunday League Footballer

The Semi Pro:
Every team has that guy who had a trial for a League One club as a kid. Tends to think he’s better than he is and should be playing at the Nou Camp rather than the local dog muck covered park. Usually comes off the pitch disappointed if he doesn’t score a hat-trick.

The Commanding Centre Half:
This lad is the muscle of most Sunday League sides – providing both vocal and physical support to the side. Often seen attempting to replicate Tony Adams or Nemanja Vidic and lead the team to victory, leaving the pitch hoarse after every single match. This player is never scared to make a challenge and finishes the season with at least four broken noses and a dislocated collar bone.

The Skilful winger:
This player usually plays out on the wing and uses his pace and skill to draw defenders into rash challenges. Usually seen sporting the finest golden boots, this guy will attempt to copy the best skill moves seen on Match of the Day. While this player is very self-orientated, his teammates look to him for creation and a moment of genius to set up chances.

The Manuel Neuer:
There tends to be a few crazy goalkeepers in Sunday League football. Whether this keeper takes penalties or just likes to roam out of his goal, he will spend the majority of his time outside of his 18-yard box. More often than not, this goalkeeper will be used outfield in future matches while one of the less-able players is sacrificed to take a turn in net.

The Manager’s Son:
This player is usually one of the least talented players on the team. He usually gets given more game time than normal purely because his dad is the manager and is used in a number of positions. His biggest use is helping to put up and take down the nets, as well as being the first port of call for anyone asking about details for the weekend’s match.

The Little Man:
As the title says, this player is the shortest on the team. Despite a lack of height, this footballer is often the most tenacious and never backs out of a challenge. Sometimes makes up for lack of strength and height with a high skill level and work rate – something that gains respect from his teammates.

The John O’Shea:
This player is also known as ‘Mr Versatile’ as he can play a number of positions. He may not be the most talented on the team, but he is certainly one of the most important, especially when substitutions are made and positional changes are needed. Often seen up front one week and then in goal the next.

The Angry Midfielder:
This player takes Sunday League football far too seriously. This guy is one of the most passionate players on the field but can become nasty if he is struggling to make an impact on the game. It’s a good season if this player is sent off less than three times and no serious injuries to opposing players have been suffered. This guy is usually seen trying to take players out in the centre of the field.

The Drunk:
This player turns up around three minutes before kick-off with a stench of vodka and still wearing last night’s clothes. This player seems to play better while drunk and though he is a little suspect in possession, he certainly adds charisma to the side and adds a bit of humour to proceedings. Often seen slurring abuse at the referee while refusing to head the ball and add to his banging hangover.

The Big Man:
This lad is the biggest guy on the field and is usually used up front as a target man or in goal due to his height for dealing with crosses into the box. This player is usually quite clumsy with his footwork but brings a powerful aerial threat – combining with the skilful winger for a number of goals. This footballer’s age is often questioned by opposing sides as he stands a foot taller than everyone else.

The Average Joe:
Last but not least, this guy is the most popular player on a Sunday League side. Everybody has a player that is distinctly average on their team but turns up to training week-in-week-out and remains a loyal member of the side. This lad gives 100% to the team and is respected by teammates yet is often blamed for defeats due to his lack of impact on the match result.