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Some of the funniest football chants ever

Some of the funniest football chants ever

British football fans also known for coming up with some of the wittiest chants going and have one ready for every situation and we’re not talking about the Kolo / Yaya monstrosity! If you love a funny football chant then read on. Be warned, some strong language.


Liverpool fans to former striker Robbie Keane: “He’s fast, he’s red, he talks like Father Ted, Robbie Keane, Robbie Keane”


Aberdeen fans to Rangers’ Kirk Broadfoot, who suffered burns to his face when an egg exploded in his microwave: “Shall we poach an egg for you?”


These Cambridge United fans couldn’t help but notice that the steward resembled a certain Beast from the television


Liverpool fans sang this football chant to Alan Shearer after he got Newcastle relegated: “Stayed on the telly, you should have stayed on the telly”


Tottenham fans to Man City supporters Noel and Liam Gallagher: “You’re just a s*** Chas and Dave”


England fans to Egypt at Wembley: “Does your mummy know you’re here?”


Swindon fans to people in a flat overlooking Leyton Orient’s ground: “We can see you washing up”


Arsenal fans sang this football chant to Stoke whilst they were winning comfortably and train delays were announced: “3-0, and you can’t get home, 3-0, and you can’t get home”


AFC Wimbledon fans to MK Dons: “Where were you when you were us?”


When Oldham fans played away at Rochdale, they noticed their steward looked very familiar.



Manchester United fans to Luis Suarez: “Your teeth are offside, your teeth are offside, Luis Suarez, your teeth are offside”


Scotland fans to Italy: “Deep fry your pizzas, we’re gonna deep fry your pizzas”


A football chant that West Ham sang to Rio Ferdinand when he was banned for missing a drugs test (Duran Duran – Rio): “His name is Rio and he watches from the stand”


Liverpool fans to Jamie Carragher’s dad, who had been arrested for being drunk at a match: “He’s red, he’s sound, he’s banned from every ground, Carra’s dad, Carra’s dad”


Chelsea fans to Galatasaray: “You’re shish and you know you are”


Coventry fans weren’t at all impressed with the Cambridge mascot



Liverpool fans’ football chant to Howard Webb and Alex Ferguson: “He’s bald, he’s red, he sleeps in Fergie’s bed, Howard Webb”


Celtic fans to Andy Goram, who had reportedly been diagnosed with mild schizophrenia: “Two Andy Gorams, there’s only two Andy Gorams”


Fulham fans to an underperforming Bobby Zamora: “When you’re sat in row Z and the ball hits your head, that’s Zamara”


Crystal Palace fans’ football chant to former Colchester goalie Dean Gerken: “Stayed in a burger, you should have stayed in a burger”


Leeds fans to a Derby supporter who proposed to his girlfriend during the game: “You don’t know what you’re doing”


Walsall fans to a Forest Green player who went down injured: “That vegan bastard, he’s eating our grass”


And a special mention has to go to the Seattle Sounders ‘head ultra’ with possibly one of the most excruciating football chants of all time.



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